It had gone on long enough, too long. The constant excuses of why I wasn’t exercising and the poor diet always accompanied by the promise that tomorrow I’d eat healthier and have more energy.

Enough! Inspired by The Shane’s fanaticism, I decided I’d give Crossfit a try for a while. See if I could de-tubby myself. Whatever the Crossfit WOD (Workout of the Day) was, I would do it as best as I could. If I needed to I would modify the weights, times or rest periods. After all, I’m not Crossfit fit.

Monday 070416

“Cindy”
Complete as many rounds in 20 minutes as you can of:
5 Pull-ups
10 Push-ups
15 Squats

OR

“Mary”
Complete as many rounds in 20 minutes as you can of:
5 Handstand Push-ups
10 One legged squats, alternating
15 Pull-ups

Cindy I reckoned I could do. 5 pull ups is within my reach, though I might suffer towards the end. Yeah, I can do this. I sent Shane a text in my eagerness. His reply was less than inspiring:

A tough wod to cut your teeth on.

Cindy was tough? I thought this would be a nice way to ease my way in. The questions started: What rest should I take if I fail? Do I aim to give it my all even if I stop at 12-15 minutes? Should I rest between sets? I was informed I’d work for 20 minutes, and that quitting was not allowed under Spartan Law, so I decided to push ahead. A heightened sense of awareness of the WOD ahead stayed with me throughout the morning, and it even looked like I might miss it at one point, allowing somebody to distract me for half my lunch.

Feck the meeting. If I’m late, I’ll tell them I was crossfitting, that’ll shut them up.

I set the timer, looked around, turned on the headphones, and began.

Round 1 was handy enough and before I knew it I was back on the pull ups. Pull Ups have always been my weak point. I feel so pathetic and puny near a pull up bar. Ten in a row at times feels like an impossible dream, and the thoughts of doing possibly fifty (I’d set myself the goal of 10 rounds after much toing and froing) filled me with doubt.

Some old guy and his personal trainer began to hang around the bar after Round 2. Another excuse to take a breather, tell people I only got in 7 or so rounds because other people wanted to use the machine and I had to be polite? No. I starred at them until they moved. No one messes with a Spartan workout.

By Round 4 the Pull Ups began to fade. I could only do four. I jumped straight back and did my last one, the words of The Shane echoing in my mind (Just rest enough to get the next one in)

A note should be made on time. At Round 3 I checked my stopwatch and noted the time was only about two and a half to three minutes in. God! How was I meant to keep going? I knew tiredness was coming.

Pushing on, the pull up pain began to make it’s presence felt in the push ups. A stinging pain penetrated through my left shoulder, not doubt a result of trying in vain to get one more rep in. Should I quit? I don’t want to cause myself another injury or anything? No, keep going. Do this!

Somewhere around the ten minute mark I received a pat on the shoulder and some dude (definitely not a Crossfitter) tell me I was doing well. I’d just fallen off the bars again and I replied “I don’t think so, it’ s a twenty minute workout!” Immediately I scorned myself for taking the liberty of responding to him and the waste of oxygen it had caused. Is this what Crossfit does to you?

The Rocky Theme Song came on at the right moment, I was building hurting bombs. Inspired as I was, my Range of Motion on the Pull Ups decreased drastically. I tried jumping up into them just to get out one only to fail at the next one. I noted the time it took to get into the push up position became longer and longer and my ability to count a full fifteen for the squats seriously diminished. Even though the squats were technically a rest I couldn’t avoid the pain in my arms and the mental taunting of the next exercise so close, in just 5 more reps, 4 more, 3, 2, 1…

There was only 3 minutes left, but it might have well being forever. Could I squeeze in two more rounds? Could I get 11? The Pull Ups were nothing more than jumps with barely controlled descents, the Push Ups a robotic action, having moved through the shoulder pains, the squats a reminder of how later this would hit me.

The Pull Up bar again. I loved Crossfit for making me return to face my Demon when I didn’t want to. It wasn’t my place to deny the bar, another power had decided I would continue to attempt pull ups. Another 5 single reverses, another 10 pull ups, and then the bell.

I didn’t even stay to pose, I headed back to the shower room. I was done, but I’d done it. Aru! Aru! Aru! My mind turned towards the pain I’d feel later (and which I feel now) and the warped pride I’d feel in having earned it (which I feel now).

What will Crossfit have for me tomorrow? What will I have for Crossfit tomorrow?

Colm

-Almost Converted